Story of My Life

My favorite professor in graduate school gave our class this story. At the time I thought she wanted to inspire us. Now that I look back I realize it might have been more that she wanted to prepare us. Sometimes being a therapist is a thankless job. Rarely do people share their appreciation for you or do you get to see the results of your hard work. Often, if people are positively effected by your treatment, it happens long after you terminate with the client. And sometimes (or most of the time, depending on the week) the adversities you are trying to help people fight seem too powerful to overcome. I can only hope that I made a difference to at least one kid out there and changed their life's path for the better.


One At A Time

A friend of ours was walking down a deserted Mexican beach at sunset. As he walked along, he began to see another man in the distance. As he grew nearer, he noticed that the local native kept leaning down, picking something up and throwing it out into the water. Time and again he kept hurling things out into the ocean.

As our friend approached even closer, he noticed that the man was picking up starfish that had been washed up on the beach and, one at time, he was throwing them back into the water.

Our friend was puzzled. He approached the man and said, "Good evening, friend. I was wondering what you are doing."

"I'm throwing these starfish back into the ocean. You see, it's low tide right now and all of these starfish have been washed up onto the shore. If I don't throw them back into the sea, they'll die up here from lack of oxygen."

"I understand," my friend replied, "but there must be thousands of starfish on this beach. You can't possibly get to all of them. There are simply too many. And don't you realize this is probably happening on hundreds of beaches all up and down this coast. Can't you see that you can't possibly make a difference?"

The local native smiled, bent down and picked up yet another starfish, and as he threw it back into the sea, he replied, "made a difference to that one!"

By Jack Canfield and Mark V. Hansen
from Chicken Soup for the Soul

Beware MSW Interns!

So when you decide to get a master's in social work, there are so many things that you are not prepared for whatsoever. No one tells you that student loans are unmanageable or that you will be spending 80 percent of your time chained to a car or a desk far far away from the kids who you want to help. But the thing that took me the most off guard, was how much politics rule this world. When you decide to go into social work, you assume that everyone in it is just like you. You assume that everyone in social services has a good heart, wants what is best for the clients, and is considerate of others. What other kind of people would choose to be in this profession?

WRONG. After some years of working in and with social service agencies, it has become clear that I was very incorrect in all of my assumptions. In my experience some of the people at the top of the hierarchy at some of these social service agencies are extremely difficult to work with. Micromanaging, inappropriate pressuring of employees, poor social skills, and complete mismanagement are rampant. Therapists often describe feeling like worker bees in a factory. The management can often create excess work, stress, and pressure for the therapists who have little time to spare. Therapists in these agencies are not given the tools to thrive and provide the best services to clients. Therapists, like county social workers, are forced to make daily choices that challenge their ethics due to constraints imposed by the powers that be. No one tells you that part of the job will be a balancing act between standing up for what your limits are, what clients need, and stroking egos of the administration. No one mentions or expects that you will have to put up with inappropriate passive aggressive comments from those above you. No one warns you that you may be asked to compromise your values and ethics for your higher ups who make three times as much money as you do, while you are barely breaking even every month.


Thankfully, the other therapists and some of the clinical supervisors are the special kind of people that I did expect in this field. They are supportive, kind, and thoughtful in the workplace. My best advice is to use their support as much as possible because without it, you will end up the client not the therapist. And pick your battles... never compromise your values and ethics for your boss, its your conscience not theirs.

You think you know... but you have no idea

Los Angeles Angels
"We are each of us angels with one wing. We can only fly embracing each other."


Gettin Paid



A Rose Grew From the Concrete



Street Sweepin

Photographic Memories

Since I have been driving ALL over this crazy city, I have seen some pretty interesting things that I never would have otherwise encountered. I have decided that I am going to bring my camera with me into the field. I used to love photography in high school so why not? After all, I will probably (or hopefully haha) never be in these neighborhoods again after I leave this job. The culture in the communities I visit is apparent everywhere I look. Culture effects my clients more than I do so it is so imperative to understand and respect.

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...

This could be applied to many subjects; wearing t-shirts as dresses, injecting heroin, eating fast food everyday, having sex with everyone that gives you the slightest bit of attention... etc, etc. However, this week I am thinking about this in regards to parenting. Just because you can have kids doesn't mean you should. People seriously should need a license to have children. After seeing what I've seen in this field, I have stopped believing that having children should be a natural right. It should be a privilege for those who are willing to be effective and nurturing parents. There is a controversial new nonprofit concept that pays female drug addicts to get sterilized. Although this is a sad reality, it may be better for the world. It should be required for pregnant women and their partners to take a child development and parenting class at the very least. After all you need a license to have a dog, drive a car, and to possess a gun. If you are going to abuse your kids or neglect them... DON"T HAVE THEM! If you aren't sure whether you can take care of them... THEN DON"T!!! Don't get me wrong... I am fully aware that parenting is the hardest job in the world, but lets get it together people... I'm sick of cleaning up your mess.

Children Learn What They Live

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive.
If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with jealousy, he learns what envy is.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative.
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with recognition, he learns that it is good to have a goal.
If a child lives with sharing, he learns to be generous.
If a child lives with honesty and fairness, he learns what truth and justice are.
If a child lives with friendliness, he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live.
If you live with serenity, your child will live with peace of mind.

With what is your child living?

- Dorothy Law Noite


It is SO simple people!!! Why is this so hard for some parents to understand?

Babies Having Babies

34 percent of girls in the US become pregnant before 20 . In Los Angeles County alone, 14,860 of mothers that receive WIC services are under the age of 19. It is no surprise to me that 73 percent of pregnant teens are from low income households. Children who come from poor families have less resources and are at higher risk (i.e. they often live in areas with higher crime rates, horrible public education, little health and mental health care, etc.). The school drop out rates for pregnant mothers is just astonishing. This phenomenon perpetuates the cycle of poverty. This is not to say that adolescents who are from middle or upper class families do not get pregnant... of course they do.

Rich or poor, children of adolescent mothers are more vulnerable in a variety of ways. Children of teen mothers are more at risk than other children for developmental disturbance and delays. Some attribute this to what is called the "Dual Developmental Crisis," wherein parenting adolescents are in fundamentally conflicting developmental life stages. Adolescents are in a developmental stage in which they are forming their identities. They are trying on different roles, pushing boundaries, and essentially figuring out who they are. However, parenting does not allow for these tasks. Adolescent parents are forced into the role of mother or father, which leaves little room to try out any other role. Due to the fundamental ego centrism of teenagehood, their parenting tends to be less empathetic, responsive, and appropriate.

Theorists argue that this adolescent ego centrism interferes with creating a healthy attachment with one's infant. Attachment theory proposes that the quality of caregiving an infant receives is internalized and becomes an internal working model for relationships throughout that child's life. Recent neurobiological research has proven that brain development is shaped by genetics, as well as, environmental factors (i.e. attachment). Attachment patterns can engender or hinder cognitive, affective, emotional, and memory development in the brain. Children with secure attachments are often socially competent, active problem solvers, empathetic to others, ability to regulate affects and impulses, and ability to trust and rely on others appropriately. Children who have insecure attachments may have low affect, emotional, and impulse control, have a high incidence of antisocial behavior, lack empathy, have trouble bonding with peers and adults, and have delayed cognitive, language, and physical development.

Therefore, as social workers, we should be proving teen mothers and fathers with the resources to become the best parents they can be. Providing knowledge about infant/child development, emotional support, and resources are the only ways to assist them with overcoming the odds stacked against them and minimize negative effects for their children. Infant development education is particularly imperative for empowering young mothers and fathers. When we teach these adolescents the importance of attachment, developmental milestones, and basic needs of an infant/child, it allows them to have the tools to be an effective parent. Knowledge is power!

All of this said, in my professional experience, many teenage mothers are able to create healthy, loving, nurturing attachments with their babies. Teenage pregnancy is here to stay no matter what your opinion of it is. So lets work together to make a better community for our children to be a part of by helping people be the best parent they can be.